And... we're off... well almost.

The wedding fun for my sister's wedding starts this Thursday. So I have one more day to recover from this blasted cold. I certainly hope it goes away by Thursday and if not Thursday, then Saturday.

A sampling of what I'll be doing at the end of the week: bows, final dress fitting, Mary Kay party, dinner, sleep, nails, rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, sleep, prepare for wedding, pictures, wedding, more pictures, and reception.

I will say, I am happy for Becca and John. I hope their life together is one of joy and peace.

I will also say, I think the reception will be a blast. I'll get to see family I haven't seen since I moved to TX two years ago--cousins, aunts, uncles, friends. Unfortunately, I have a strong feeling I will cry through most of the wedding. I went to a friend's wedding this last Saturday, stood up and looked at her standing in the back of the church, and that was it. I was a goner. I won't be able to look at my dad at all, because I think he'll be more of a goner than I will be.

I pray the wedding goes well. I'll have to stash tissues somewhere.

Goin' to the Chapel...

Well, I'm not, but I am home for two weeks for two weddings-- my friend Alice's and my sister Becca's.

This is my only vacation time probably till December, so I'm hoping to enjoy my time here in Jersey. It is going to be hectic, but hopefully still good. (Next Thursday through Saturday will probably be the craziest, so prayers during that time will be appreciated.)

I've also started reading a book that was recommended to me by a beloved friend, Decision Making and the Will of God. I actually own it, but had only read parts of it. I'm hoping it's good...life changing even.

Prayers for wisdom would be appreciated. I am struggling once again with the decision to move home to New Jersey. Struggling is the wrong word, because I am very much at peace.

Pros of moving home:
I currently do not have a job that meets my needs in TX. I might in the Fall.
I have a job I can go back to that pays 2 dollars an hour more than what I make now.
Expenses should theoretically be lower.
I would be nearer to family.

Cons:
I think I have just begun to put roots down in Tyler. Don't want to lose that.
None of my friends will be especially available for me here in Jersey. Not their fault, just life.
I have a great network in Tyler of mentors, friends, and those I could potentially mentor.
I would actually have to physically move all my stuff from Texas to Jersey. Not a huge deal, but still a consideration.

Anyway, these are just a few of the rumblings going through my brain. It helped to get them onto "paper", even if they were really boring to read. ;)

Anyway, looking forward to weddings! :)

Notes

This week has been... different. It's been long, but in a good way. One of the more important points of the week was the interview I had with a local hospital system. If I get the job, I'll be working full time as an administrative secretary. I think the interview went well, but please pray I get it. It would be such a blessing.

I get to go home next week for two weddings: a close friend's and my sister's. CRAZY! I'll be home for about 11 days. It will probably be really busy, but fun nonetheless. No idea what to wear to the friend's wedding, but I guess it will work out. :)

Hoping to see friends and family at both weddings.

Thank you for your prayers. I do appreciate them!

Finances

Please pray for my financial situation. I am now working only about 28 hrs a week at 7 dollars an hour. OUCH! Not a great combo. Not even great separately. Please pray the Lord will provide.

Poetry and such

Have I mentioned I like to write poetry? Here is something I wrote recently.

They say it's always darkest before the dawn.
My dawn should have come daybreaks ago.
I live in the gloom of not even half light.
Seeing, but not nearly fully.
Living with the promise of tomorrow, but not receiving.
Nothing is as it ought to be.
The gloom has not lifted,
Rather, it gets darker.

When will the dawn come?

The darkness deepens with every day.
Not a moment goes by that I don't regret some choice.
Darkness, deepest black of night, encloses me.
There is a hint of new beginnings, but when?
I have nothing;
It is as the dawn of creation.
Will God speak into my formless darkness?

When will the dawn come?

It seems that others live in the day,
Not knowing or caring that all is pitch in my world.
I don't wish upon them my choices.
My life is more than void and formless.
There is a blackness that absorbs light hungrily.
I long for day, but am so used to night,
I wonder if I will recognize it.
Day? Night? Dawn?

When will the dawn come?

If it's darkest before the dawn,
I am in the birth of a new day.
The darkness which surrounds me is a catalyst.
It brings change to me.
I cannot see.
My eyes have long been adjusted to this perpetual night.

When will the dawn come?

I pray and pray to seemingly no avail.
Does He hear? Does He care?
I trip and stumble through the pre-dawn gloom,
Every bump and bruise a reminder of my blindness.
What would He say? What has He said?

"Let there be light!"

I cling to this promise.
Out of nothing, out of the hungry void,
Light will come.
He has spoken it before.
I trust He will speak it again.
Out of the darkness, I trust He will call.
He is Redeemer and Savior.
What can I do but what I have done.

Wait.

Pray.

Wait.

Pray.

When will the dawn come?