Oh my...

I had no idea it had been so long since I'd written. Sorry for my negligence. I have to come over to my church to use the internet so that doesn't always happen. When it does, I have other things on my mind. Again, I apologize.



It has been a pretty good month overall. I think I have accomplished a lot. I've pretty much settled in at the new house, and it is SO nice to be in a real house again. I can cook, move around a little easier. It's just really nice. I've been doing some work for the school where I used to work. That should ease up the budget a bit. With that said, the summer will be the hardest. Please pray with me for God's provision. I'm working fewer hours at Barnes and Noble for less pay. Not a winning financial combination. I have been applying for jobs though, so again, please keep that in prayer.

I will have 18 hours a week in the fall at the local Junior College working in the Writing Lab. That should help a lot.

I'm working on being less of a flip-flop. So, I may not publish my exact thoughts. I tend to process with other people. I just need to stop. So I'm not going to publish everything I'm thinking. Often, it doesn't line up. Just pray for clarity.

Happy Memorial Day!

Spinning

That one word seems to sum up all that I'm feeling right now. My head, my world, my dreams are spinning. Within one week, I stepped down from my position at Barnes and Noble and moved. I have no idea where I'm going career wise or life wise. I have learned that I don't think I'm management material. I don't like directing people, I like relating to them. In my mind, that rules out teaching. Phew. I'm left with two possible career choices in my mind: Librarian and Clinical Counselor. Please pray for me as I attempt to decide which path to take.

Moving tomorrow!

I'm moving tomorrow and I'm not even CLOSE to being ready. Help!

Changes

Well, I did it. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting something to change. So, I finally made a change.

I was under so much stress the last two weeks that I had 4 meltdowns. At least two of these were at work. By meltdown, I mean I was upset, crying, and really just at the end of my rope. Not great for work. On Wednesday, I showed up to work in tears. I had had a migraine for two days, due to stress, and I had had to work a turnaround shift which is one shift till 11pm and then a shift at 8am the next morning. Needless to say, I was exhausted. The assistant store manager let me go home, but we had a serious discussion over whether or not I would be able to step into the Cafe manager's shoes when she went on maternity leave. After a day of counsel and thinking and prayer, I decided. No. So, I am no longer functioning in the Cafe Lead position. It feels GREAT. I didn't realize how much stress I was under until it was lifted. I still have a job there, but I won't be responsible for nearly as much.

With that said, I move into a new place this week. I have come almost full circle in a year. I'm moving back into my pastor's son's rental house. It should be good. It's going to be a busy week. I move on Wednesday and Thursday. Prayers that everything goes smoothly would be appreciated.

Also, I need to find a new job. I need to be making $10 an hour. At least. Please pray that one of the numerous jobs I have applied for will come through.

Well, it's time to get ready for church. I'll catch you later. :)

Healed by Nichole Nordeman

Oh, We stutter and we stammer till You save us
A symphony of chaos till You play us
Phrases on the pages of unknown
‘Til You read us into poetry and prose
We are kept and we are captive till You free us
Vaguely unimagined ‘til You dream us
Aimlessly unguided ‘til You lead us home

CHORUS:
By Your voice we speak
By Your strength no longer weak
We are no longer weak
And by Your wounds we are healed
And by Your wounds we are healed

Passed over and passed by until you claim us
Orphaned and abandoned ‘til you name us
Hidden and disclosed ‘til you expose you hearts

CHORUS:
By your death we live
It is by your gift that we might give
That we might give
And by your wounds we are healed
And by your wounds we are healed

What kind of love would take your
shame and spill his blood for you
Save us by His wounds
By your wounds, we are healed
By your wounds, we are healed
What kind of love
By your wounds, we are healed
Tell me what kind of love is this
By your wounds, we are healed.

hmmm...

Well, I move in 9 days. I'm nowhere near being ready. I'll get there, but right now, I could panic. I did just have a great night studying my Bible at one of the local Starbucks, so I'm pretty calm, despite the pressures I'm facing. So many questions are racing through my mind. They are pretty much the same ones I've elaborated on. I'll list them to clear my mind. You have my permission to skip them. ;)

1) Move-- I hope this is the last one for a while, but I'm wondering if I may not have to move home to Jersey sooner rather than later.

2) School-- Do I go back? If so, where? for what?

3) Work-- I'm not making enough to support myself. Where should I work? Will a job come through?

4) Life purpose-- What is it? Ultimately, I know it's to glorify God, but how do I best do this?

Well, this is my life right now. Questions. I do believe God will come through. He always does in one way or another. :)

Sweet Rest

I experienced sweet rest Saturday and Sunday. Saturday, I had a migraine most of the day, but was still able and rather forced to rest. Sunday was a day of worship and celebration. We had worship Sunday morning, a banquet afterward, and then a dance in the evening. I actually have come to quite enjoy English contra dancing.

Anyway, this is just to say, I feel better than I have in a while. I am refreshed and satisfied. I still am unsure about the future, but I can face it slightly more prepared at this moment.

At this moment, I really ought to be cleaning and packing for my move. I am very unmotivated. I'm not tired, but just very relaxed and at peace. I suppose it needs to be done though as I move in 16 days. Fun times.

The job search is somewhat at a pause. I'm waiting for something to come through. Please pray that God's will would be done.

With that, I'm off. Hopefully to clean. We'll see what I get accomplished. ;)

He is risen, just as he said

On this day when we celebrate Easter, I am prompted to remember God's promises. Christ told the disciples He would rise again...and He did. It was not an empty promise or platitude. He meant what He said. I have to wonder if I'm taking God seriously. Am I remembering His promises? He has made so many to His children throughout Scripture. Am I walking as if I believe Him? Honestly, I'm not. I'm trying to do things in my own strength. I'm trying to pull myself up by my bootstraps as it were. And I keep running into wall after wall. So today, I'm going to focus on His promises and rest. I believe He will come through.

A bit better

So, I'm feeling a bit better. I got a good deal of sleep last night. Hopefully it helps. Sorry for the depressing post of last evening.

Things to keep in prayer if you so desire:

My upcoming move
Job search
Finances (this is a biggie).

Let me know if you have requests I can include in my prayer time.

So very tired

I am so, so very tired.  I have a thirteen hour work day tomorrow.  Don't know how I'm going to make it.  Prayers would be appreciated.