The wedding fun for my sister's wedding starts this Thursday. So I have one more day to recover from this blasted cold. I certainly hope it goes away by Thursday and if not Thursday, then Saturday.
A sampling of what I'll be doing at the end of the week: bows, final dress fitting, Mary Kay party, dinner, sleep, nails, rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, sleep, prepare for wedding, pictures, wedding, more pictures, and reception.
I will say, I am happy for Becca and John. I hope their life together is one of joy and peace.
I will also say, I think the reception will be a blast. I'll get to see family I haven't seen since I moved to TX two years ago--cousins, aunts, uncles, friends. Unfortunately, I have a strong feeling I will cry through most of the wedding. I went to a friend's wedding this last Saturday, stood up and looked at her standing in the back of the church, and that was it. I was a goner. I won't be able to look at my dad at all, because I think he'll be more of a goner than I will be.
I pray the wedding goes well. I'll have to stash tissues somewhere.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Goin' to the Chapel...
Well, I'm not, but I am home for two weeks for two weddings-- my friend Alice's and my sister Becca's.
This is my only vacation time probably till December, so I'm hoping to enjoy my time here in Jersey. It is going to be hectic, but hopefully still good. (Next Thursday through Saturday will probably be the craziest, so prayers during that time will be appreciated.)
I've also started reading a book that was recommended to me by a beloved friend, Decision Making and the Will of God. I actually own it, but had only read parts of it. I'm hoping it's good...life changing even.
Prayers for wisdom would be appreciated. I am struggling once again with the decision to move home to New Jersey. Struggling is the wrong word, because I am very much at peace.
Pros of moving home:
I currently do not have a job that meets my needs in TX. I might in the Fall.
I have a job I can go back to that pays 2 dollars an hour more than what I make now.
Expenses should theoretically be lower.
I would be nearer to family.
Cons:
I think I have just begun to put roots down in Tyler. Don't want to lose that.
None of my friends will be especially available for me here in Jersey. Not their fault, just life.
I have a great network in Tyler of mentors, friends, and those I could potentially mentor.
I would actually have to physically move all my stuff from Texas to Jersey. Not a huge deal, but still a consideration.
Anyway, these are just a few of the rumblings going through my brain. It helped to get them onto "paper", even if they were really boring to read. ;)
Anyway, looking forward to weddings! :)
This is my only vacation time probably till December, so I'm hoping to enjoy my time here in Jersey. It is going to be hectic, but hopefully still good. (Next Thursday through Saturday will probably be the craziest, so prayers during that time will be appreciated.)
I've also started reading a book that was recommended to me by a beloved friend, Decision Making and the Will of God. I actually own it, but had only read parts of it. I'm hoping it's good...life changing even.
Prayers for wisdom would be appreciated. I am struggling once again with the decision to move home to New Jersey. Struggling is the wrong word, because I am very much at peace.
Pros of moving home:
I currently do not have a job that meets my needs in TX. I might in the Fall.
I have a job I can go back to that pays 2 dollars an hour more than what I make now.
Expenses should theoretically be lower.
I would be nearer to family.
Cons:
I think I have just begun to put roots down in Tyler. Don't want to lose that.
None of my friends will be especially available for me here in Jersey. Not their fault, just life.
I have a great network in Tyler of mentors, friends, and those I could potentially mentor.
I would actually have to physically move all my stuff from Texas to Jersey. Not a huge deal, but still a consideration.
Anyway, these are just a few of the rumblings going through my brain. It helped to get them onto "paper", even if they were really boring to read. ;)
Anyway, looking forward to weddings! :)
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Notes
This week has been... different. It's been long, but in a good way. One of the more important points of the week was the interview I had with a local hospital system. If I get the job, I'll be working full time as an administrative secretary. I think the interview went well, but please pray I get it. It would be such a blessing.
I get to go home next week for two weddings: a close friend's and my sister's. CRAZY! I'll be home for about 11 days. It will probably be really busy, but fun nonetheless. No idea what to wear to the friend's wedding, but I guess it will work out. :)
Hoping to see friends and family at both weddings.
Thank you for your prayers. I do appreciate them!
I get to go home next week for two weddings: a close friend's and my sister's. CRAZY! I'll be home for about 11 days. It will probably be really busy, but fun nonetheless. No idea what to wear to the friend's wedding, but I guess it will work out. :)
Hoping to see friends and family at both weddings.
Thank you for your prayers. I do appreciate them!
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Finances
Please pray for my financial situation. I am now working only about 28 hrs a week at 7 dollars an hour. OUCH! Not a great combo. Not even great separately. Please pray the Lord will provide.
Poetry and such
Have I mentioned I like to write poetry? Here is something I wrote recently.
They say it's always darkest before the dawn.
My dawn should have come daybreaks ago.
I live in the gloom of not even half light.
Seeing, but not nearly fully.
Living with the promise of tomorrow, but not receiving.
Nothing is as it ought to be.
The gloom has not lifted,
Rather, it gets darker.
When will the dawn come?
The darkness deepens with every day.
Not a moment goes by that I don't regret some choice.
Darkness, deepest black of night, encloses me.
There is a hint of new beginnings, but when?
I have nothing;
It is as the dawn of creation.
Will God speak into my formless darkness?
When will the dawn come?
It seems that others live in the day,
Not knowing or caring that all is pitch in my world.
I don't wish upon them my choices.
My life is more than void and formless.
There is a blackness that absorbs light hungrily.
I long for day, but am so used to night,
I wonder if I will recognize it.
Day? Night? Dawn?
When will the dawn come?
If it's darkest before the dawn,
I am in the birth of a new day.
The darkness which surrounds me is a catalyst.
It brings change to me.
I cannot see.
My eyes have long been adjusted to this perpetual night.
When will the dawn come?
I pray and pray to seemingly no avail.
Does He hear? Does He care?
I trip and stumble through the pre-dawn gloom,
Every bump and bruise a reminder of my blindness.
What would He say? What has He said?
"Let there be light!"
I cling to this promise.
Out of nothing, out of the hungry void,
Light will come.
He has spoken it before.
I trust He will speak it again.
Out of the darkness, I trust He will call.
He is Redeemer and Savior.
What can I do but what I have done.
Wait.
Pray.
Wait.
Pray.
When will the dawn come?
They say it's always darkest before the dawn.
My dawn should have come daybreaks ago.
I live in the gloom of not even half light.
Seeing, but not nearly fully.
Living with the promise of tomorrow, but not receiving.
Nothing is as it ought to be.
The gloom has not lifted,
Rather, it gets darker.
When will the dawn come?
The darkness deepens with every day.
Not a moment goes by that I don't regret some choice.
Darkness, deepest black of night, encloses me.
There is a hint of new beginnings, but when?
I have nothing;
It is as the dawn of creation.
Will God speak into my formless darkness?
When will the dawn come?
It seems that others live in the day,
Not knowing or caring that all is pitch in my world.
I don't wish upon them my choices.
My life is more than void and formless.
There is a blackness that absorbs light hungrily.
I long for day, but am so used to night,
I wonder if I will recognize it.
Day? Night? Dawn?
When will the dawn come?
If it's darkest before the dawn,
I am in the birth of a new day.
The darkness which surrounds me is a catalyst.
It brings change to me.
I cannot see.
My eyes have long been adjusted to this perpetual night.
When will the dawn come?
I pray and pray to seemingly no avail.
Does He hear? Does He care?
I trip and stumble through the pre-dawn gloom,
Every bump and bruise a reminder of my blindness.
What would He say? What has He said?
"Let there be light!"
I cling to this promise.
Out of nothing, out of the hungry void,
Light will come.
He has spoken it before.
I trust He will speak it again.
Out of the darkness, I trust He will call.
He is Redeemer and Savior.
What can I do but what I have done.
Wait.
Pray.
Wait.
Pray.
When will the dawn come?
Monday, May 25, 2009
Oh my...
I had no idea it had been so long since I'd written. Sorry for my negligence. I have to come over to my church to use the internet so that doesn't always happen. When it does, I have other things on my mind. Again, I apologize.
It has been a pretty good month overall. I think I have accomplished a lot. I've pretty much settled in at the new house, and it is SO nice to be in a real house again. I can cook, move around a little easier. It's just really nice. I've been doing some work for the school where I used to work. That should ease up the budget a bit. With that said, the summer will be the hardest. Please pray with me for God's provision. I'm working fewer hours at Barnes and Noble for less pay. Not a winning financial combination. I have been applying for jobs though, so again, please keep that in prayer.
I will have 18 hours a week in the fall at the local Junior College working in the Writing Lab. That should help a lot.
I'm working on being less of a flip-flop. So, I may not publish my exact thoughts. I tend to process with other people. I just need to stop. So I'm not going to publish everything I'm thinking. Often, it doesn't line up. Just pray for clarity.
Happy Memorial Day!
It has been a pretty good month overall. I think I have accomplished a lot. I've pretty much settled in at the new house, and it is SO nice to be in a real house again. I can cook, move around a little easier. It's just really nice. I've been doing some work for the school where I used to work. That should ease up the budget a bit. With that said, the summer will be the hardest. Please pray with me for God's provision. I'm working fewer hours at Barnes and Noble for less pay. Not a winning financial combination. I have been applying for jobs though, so again, please keep that in prayer.
I will have 18 hours a week in the fall at the local Junior College working in the Writing Lab. That should help a lot.
I'm working on being less of a flip-flop. So, I may not publish my exact thoughts. I tend to process with other people. I just need to stop. So I'm not going to publish everything I'm thinking. Often, it doesn't line up. Just pray for clarity.
Happy Memorial Day!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Spinning
That one word seems to sum up all that I'm feeling right now. My head, my world, my dreams are spinning. Within one week, I stepped down from my position at Barnes and Noble and moved. I have no idea where I'm going career wise or life wise. I have learned that I don't think I'm management material. I don't like directing people, I like relating to them. In my mind, that rules out teaching. Phew. I'm left with two possible career choices in my mind: Librarian and Clinical Counselor. Please pray for me as I attempt to decide which path to take.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Changes
Well, I did it. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting something to change. So, I finally made a change.
I was under so much stress the last two weeks that I had 4 meltdowns. At least two of these were at work. By meltdown, I mean I was upset, crying, and really just at the end of my rope. Not great for work. On Wednesday, I showed up to work in tears. I had had a migraine for two days, due to stress, and I had had to work a turnaround shift which is one shift till 11pm and then a shift at 8am the next morning. Needless to say, I was exhausted. The assistant store manager let me go home, but we had a serious discussion over whether or not I would be able to step into the Cafe manager's shoes when she went on maternity leave. After a day of counsel and thinking and prayer, I decided. No. So, I am no longer functioning in the Cafe Lead position. It feels GREAT. I didn't realize how much stress I was under until it was lifted. I still have a job there, but I won't be responsible for nearly as much.
With that said, I move into a new place this week. I have come almost full circle in a year. I'm moving back into my pastor's son's rental house. It should be good. It's going to be a busy week. I move on Wednesday and Thursday. Prayers that everything goes smoothly would be appreciated.
Also, I need to find a new job. I need to be making $10 an hour. At least. Please pray that one of the numerous jobs I have applied for will come through.
Well, it's time to get ready for church. I'll catch you later. :)
I was under so much stress the last two weeks that I had 4 meltdowns. At least two of these were at work. By meltdown, I mean I was upset, crying, and really just at the end of my rope. Not great for work. On Wednesday, I showed up to work in tears. I had had a migraine for two days, due to stress, and I had had to work a turnaround shift which is one shift till 11pm and then a shift at 8am the next morning. Needless to say, I was exhausted. The assistant store manager let me go home, but we had a serious discussion over whether or not I would be able to step into the Cafe manager's shoes when she went on maternity leave. After a day of counsel and thinking and prayer, I decided. No. So, I am no longer functioning in the Cafe Lead position. It feels GREAT. I didn't realize how much stress I was under until it was lifted. I still have a job there, but I won't be responsible for nearly as much.
With that said, I move into a new place this week. I have come almost full circle in a year. I'm moving back into my pastor's son's rental house. It should be good. It's going to be a busy week. I move on Wednesday and Thursday. Prayers that everything goes smoothly would be appreciated.
Also, I need to find a new job. I need to be making $10 an hour. At least. Please pray that one of the numerous jobs I have applied for will come through.
Well, it's time to get ready for church. I'll catch you later. :)
Monday, April 20, 2009
Healed by Nichole Nordeman
Oh, We stutter and we stammer till You save us
A symphony of chaos till You play us
Phrases on the pages of unknown
‘Til You read us into poetry and prose
We are kept and we are captive till You free us
Vaguely unimagined ‘til You dream us
Aimlessly unguided ‘til You lead us home
CHORUS:
By Your voice we speak
By Your strength no longer weak
We are no longer weak
And by Your wounds we are healed
And by Your wounds we are healed
Passed over and passed by until you claim us
Orphaned and abandoned ‘til you name us
Hidden and disclosed ‘til you expose you hearts
CHORUS:
By your death we live
It is by your gift that we might give
That we might give
And by your wounds we are healed
And by your wounds we are healed
What kind of love would take your
shame and spill his blood for you
Save us by His wounds
By your wounds, we are healed
By your wounds, we are healed
What kind of love
By your wounds, we are healed
Tell me what kind of love is this
By your wounds, we are healed.
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